Help should remove work, not create another decision.

Specific offers, clear boundaries and reliable follow-through are often more valuable than grand gestures.

The principle

“Let me know if you need anything” is kind, but it leaves the work of inventing a request with the person who is already overloaded. A specific, easy-to-decline offer is often more useful.

Bereavement

Help someone who is grieving

Concrete offers for food, transport, calls, children, pets and practical admin.

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New parents

Help after a baby arrives

Bring useful help without becoming another person to host.

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Wedding

Help with a wedding without taking over

Own a task, respect the couple’s priorities and reduce decisions.

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